For many individuals, learning how to say “no” and rejecting other people’s requests can be really tough. The fear of upsetting someone, or thinking that they might not like you anymore, can be present, and trust me, I can relate.
However, learning how to say “no” can be beneficial in the long run, because it can help you prioritize your needs first, set healthy boundaries with others, and also lead to saying “yes” to other opportunities in the future.
According to myTherapyNYC, when an individual is asked a request, they often agree to it to please the other person. They do everything to satisfy them and tend to forget that they have their own priorities.
On the other hand, “you are the most important person in your life” and deserve to give attention to yourself before everyone else. Whether that’d be exercising or doing a hobby that you really like, prioritize those activities first. Focusing on yourself is not selfish but rather “a profound act of self-care” and self-love.
The fear of hurting another person’s feelings may also make it difficult to say “no”, especially if it’s someone close to us. Whenever they ask us to do things for them, we abruptly say “yes”, even if we may not mean it, because we think that the other person might not like us anymore.
However, constantly putting ourselves in that position also builds dishonesty, which can eventually ruin our relationship with the other person.
One key way to fix this problem is thinking through your response first. When someone asks you to do something in their favor, you can tell them that you need some time to think about it and you’ll let them know later.
But if the offer is something that you don’t want to commit time for, just simply say that you can’t do it and I’m sure they’ll understand. By doing this, “you start to realize that the most important thing is being honest, fair, and respectful towards others.”
Lastly, turning down an offer can lead to saying “yes” to other opportunities in the future. In the Ted Talk The Art of Saying No, Kenny Nguyen, CEO of Big Fish Presentations, shares how his team got an offer to be on a show called Shark Tank. While he was so stoked about it, there were times when an inner voice was telling him not to accept it.
Later, he realized that he was more focused on getting paid rather than building up his company, so he decided to reject the offer. Although this may sound like a big loss for his team, Nguyen’s company still got to partner up with other big businesses, like Raising Canes.
It is not the end of the world when you have to turn down an offer or a request from another person. This situation will never be easy, but it is important to consider how you are feeling inside. Filling our plate with so many priorities is mentally draining and is not healthy for us physically or emotionally.
As a society, we are always going to deal with making difficult decisions, and we should lean towards the ones that make us feel content. We can’t please everybody around us, and we are also not perfect multitaskers. So my advice is to just live your life doing the things that matter the most to you, and be okay with saying “no”.
