Somewhere in life, you’ve stumbled across them. They’re laid out on the table–an aesthetically pleasing spread, an appetizer for the fine diners.
Over the years, charcuterie boards have seen a resurgence in popularity, emerging from the depths of history to the frontpage of Facebook. Sorry to disappoint all you Facebook moms of the world, but truthfully, charcuterie boards are really just a chance to take meat, cheese, and a couple herbs and say that you know something about nouvelle cuisine.
Charcuterie boards derive from the French of the 15th century. Back then, food was scarce, and people went through tedious preservation processes to ensure that their meat could be preserved for longer periods of time. Presently, we’ve taken this history and turned it into a bragging competition for who can stuff more food onto a wooden board.
Oftentimes, these boards are loaded high with different kinds of cured meat, cheeses, and assorted crackers or fruits, arranged in an elegant display. But it’s all a huge waste of time, if you ask me.
At this point, charcuterie boards have become the designer brand of the culinary world. They’re just there to sit and look pretty. Sure, all of those food items taste alright in the end, but unless you’re a connoisseur of meat and cheese, you’re just in it for the pics and the post.
Not only are charcuterie boards a waste of time, they’re a waste of good ingredients, too. Perfectly delicious foods–like olives, dried fruit, baguettes, and cut meat–are all left to wither on a board.
Why would you take expensive, well-made ingredients and throw them away on an appetizer that’s 90% for visual effect? My two cents: save your best ingredients for your main course, instead of going big in the beginning and landing with disappointment in the end.
Charcuterie boards have made a point to boast status through their presentation. You can often tell if you’re at a fancy restaurant, or if someone supposedly put effort into your meal, when you’re served a charcuterie board. People on social media especially enjoy looking at posts of the boards on their feed.
Newsflash! Someone just arranged blocks of cheese and slices of meat on a platter! It’s not that deep!
Whether you care for them or not, charcuterie boards are ultimately a grand waste of time. Even if they do taste alright, this is no one’s first thought when they see one.
In the end, charcuterie boards serve no other purpose than to be eye candy on a table, and a light snack before your meal. Instead, maybe enjoy a nice soup or a light salad.
Let’s stop kidding ourselves, people.
