The 4000 Building in Glendale High School is probably the busiest building on campus. Considering its numerous math, science, and social science classes, it would be near impossible to find a GHS student who doesn’t have a class in the 4K. But behind this plain facade lurks a dark reality: the stairs.
The 4000 Building has four floors. This means that, as every freshman must resentfully find out, to get to your classes, you have to climb two, sometimes three flights of stairs. The staircases are always crowded, which adds at least two minutes to the amount of time it takes for people to get to where they’re going.
Recently, a vocal group of students has decided to start a movement in opposition to the 4000 stairs. “The stairs are a hazard. You could hurt yourself,” said junior, Leigh Z. Kidd, the founder of the Anti-Stair Movement.
“Also, it’s just disheartening. I walk into class and I don’t feel like learning, y’know?” Kidd admitted. “Teachers who have a class on the fourth floor don’t have a right to tell us to put our phones away or listen to whatever they’re yapping about. It’s insensitive.”
Protests have begun springing up all over campus. The most recent of these protests took place in the boys’ bathroom in the 6000 Building, and it involved nearly 100 people. However, the demonstration quickly dissipated after the participants heard the jingle of keys outside the door.
“They’re sending the guards to silence us. But they’re gonna see that we can’t be silenced,” Kidd declared.
Throughout the online community, this movement has gained quite a large following. Hundreds of GHS students and alumni are sharing personal experiences and expressing their solidarity with the protestors.
“The 4K stairs scarred me psychologically and physically,” commented one alum on Instagram.
Additionally, several conspiracy theories have started popping up. In an interview with an Explosion staff member, self-proclaimed “free-thinker”, and GHS junior, Harut Anasunyan claimed, “It’s all part of the Hoover agenda. They want to break us.”
“The 4K was commissioned by Hoover,” Anasunyan added. “Look it up.”
Despite the growing Anti-Stair sentiment, protestors seem to harbor a difference of opinion on what should be done about the situation. Most supporters of the movement subscribe to the idea that the stairs in the 4000 Building should be replaced by elevators or escalators. However, there are some that staunchly disagree with this proposal.
This debate has spilled over into the subreddit r/AntiStairMovement.
“The real problem isn’t actually the stairs,” asserted freshman Lucy Contrarian. “It’s the fourth floor.”
A response by junior Radi Kull read: “Fourth floor? No, I want the whole damn building removed. It enforces an Orwellian society. Big Brother would have you believe that the floor you walk into is actually the second floor. Are you a sheep?”
As of the publication of this article, the GHS faculty has not responded to the movement.
Stand up for what you believe in, Nitros! (But be careful on the stairs!)
