“Tidal”
A poem by Edna Cardona
October 7, 2022
The moon watches us through the velvet night
The riptide watchmen remind us that the ocean is everlasting and will kill you without hesitation
I spend a lot of time ankle-deep when no one is looking
My mother is a heavier sleeper than she thinks
Most mornings I leave through the front door to greet the unconquered hours with foggy breath and a smile
I park on the street so she doesn’t hear my car start and I head east
Stumble out of the driver’s seat and onto the sand
And I miss things gone by like innocence and potential and a time when I was good
I wonder if or when he’ll leave me
I’m not good enough for him and I think he knows it
I wonder if I’d be happier if I cut off my parents
I wonder if my friend and I will always be friends
Is she actually going to leave the country and if she does will she keep her promise of one postcard a month
My friends are good people
I’m barely better than my worst actions
I honestly don’t know why they love me